To Microwave or Marinate?

by Phoebe Jue

Photo by  Charisse Kenion  on  Unsplash

We live in a world where we are inundated by options, choices and endless (what I call) “serial clicks”. “Click here if you want this free e-book,” “click here to purchase,” and how can any of us live without amazon prime? I mean 2-day shipping who can beat that! With all of this, it makes me think of one thing: the need for immediacy.

I heard in a sermon as a teenager that we live in a “microwave state of mind instead of a marinating state of mind.” As a teenager, I remember thinking the pastor was just old and slow and didn’t understand how he didn’t appreciate that the times are a-changin! But, over the years and perhaps after marriage and motherhood, I’ve come to see that the need of immediacy or “instant gratification” well, isn’t that gratifying.

The journey of marriage has shown me that marriage isn’t so much about receiving roses and chocolates and taking outrageous vacations together. These are the instant things, if you will. And sure there is a time and place for that, but perhaps the most rewarding thing about marriage is committing to someone and watching yourself grow as you learn to love, not just yourself, but your partner. That can take years! Two become one is less romantic than it sounds sometimes, because it takes work and time.

The same - if not, more intense - version of commitment is motherhood. Motherhood is the ultimate test of endurance. It is a marathon. Ask any mother and they will tell you that the joys of parenting aren’t all that glamourous or instant. Take potty training for example: it comes only after the many day-in and day-out mundane routine. My four year old has just learned how to potty and now we are on to #2s and I’d be lying if I shared that during this process there aren’t tears on both end, his and mine. But each time he makes it into the potty, it is a celebration! Who would have thought that my son making a poop would make my entire week!

So, what does this have to do with coaching or me you may ask? Maybe you are not a wife or a mother, (can be a very good thing, take all the time you need girlfriend!), but I’m here to testify that you are also in this journey of seeing the beauty in, well, marinating. That is exactly what coaching is, marinating.  


What Isn’t Coaching?

Coaching isn’t a quick fix, self-help, increasing will power, pulling yourself up by the bootstraps! “C’mon, just get over your fear and do it!” With this attitude, we can quickly resort to some kind of “pseudo click,” action of: “let me just purchase this book, this item and it will help me with whatever it is I need help with.”

Coaching also isn’t consulting and advice-giving, because that is also a “microwave” scenario. “You have this issue, oh well do xyz and that should solve it!” The truth is, we live in such a world of telling, we sometimes don’t know how to think for ourselves and that reality can lead to a dangerous place.


What is Coaching?

Coaching is all about self-discovery and forward movement. In other words, coaching is creating a life of design that you own and are proud of. Coaching takes your leadership of life in all aspects: fitness, intellect, character, finance, career, you name it, to the next level. Through consistent attention and time investment, align thoughts, actions,  think “marinate,” you can achieve greater outcomes. Growth and change comes with time, patience and grit. Growth is not a “click” to solution, rather a time intensive gradual process.

Growth and change comes with time, patience and grit.

Scripture illustrates it here:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2

In one word, coaching is transformative. It is empowering to see yourself grow, evolve and become the person you want to be. As a believer, reaching your personal and professional goals is seeing how fearfully and wonderfully you are made, and moving forward to be the woman God calls you to be. How exciting is that? We all know that He has a hope and future for us, but how cool to see that unfold right?! I can testify to that! Coaching is a journey that unfolds a future of lasting success.

So let me ask you a question:

Would you rather eat a hot pocket in two minutes or a beef stew with meat so tender it falls right off the bone? I’d pick the latter and in fact, I’m getting hungry as I’m typing this. Regardless of what you pick, the answer can be telling of what you really want. A deeper question then is, what do you really want?

And here’s the zinger! Do you we want a life that is quick, easy, convenient, ready in two days or do you want to be intentional, focus and see your life unfold into a life full of flavor, richness and “you” written all over it?

While I don’t even know you sister, but I pick, “Celebrate you!”  


about the author

Phoebe is the CEO/Founder of a grass-roots non-profit called Celebrate You Coaching based in SF, California. Their mission is to empower and equip individuals to live healthy and sustainable lives by finding their God given talents, reach financial stability, and end cyclical poverty one person at a time. Their organization offers individual and group coaching services as well as hosts educational and empowerment workshops to underserved populations in the local communities, specifically underemployed young adults. If you’d like to learn more or get involved please visit their website and if you’d like to receive coaching, sign up for your free celebrate you call with someone at C.Y.C. here