Mother's Day: "My mum..."

by Valerie Cabadonga


From a young age, we view our mothers as superwomen who are everywhere and can do anything. Whether it is in our extracurricular or academic activities, attending to our every need, or comfort us in the middle of the night when we have nightmares, she is there when we need her. But as we grow older - and this holds true for me - mothers remain the superwomen that they are but now, we start to see a lot of their humanity.

We see that they also have wants, needs and dreams. We see them laugh and cry. We see them struggle with the different areas of their lives. We see them yearning to have a time off and be by themselves. We all have different perceptions, images and meanings of our moms and as we grow up, these meanings mature with us. 

In light of this, I searched the internet for questions and asked you gals what questions do you think mothers will ask their daughters, or for any mother-daughter questions that you have in mind (to the gals who submitted their questions, thank you so much! You know who you are xx). 

As I went through this exercise, it has given me the opportunity to appreciate and celebrate my mother for raising a kid as tricky as me as she said in her interview and (check out my mother's special her progress interview) to reflect on the love, guidance and support our mothers unconditionally give us. I hope that as you read along, you will do the same. 

So, let's have some fun, shall we?


What was your mum like growing up?

My mum was really hard working and she still is. She taught civil engineering at the university on the weekdays and volunteered as a worship leader on the weekends at church (where my dad was a pastor and I was the pastor's kid that needed more salvation every Sunday). 

I saw my mum as both a genius and a diva. I love hearing her sing with so much control and teach her students. She made algebra and trigonometry sexy in my eyes.

What is your fondest memory of your mum growing up?

During my school breaks, mum would take me with her to her lectures. I would sit by the teacher's desk or on one of the chairs at the front row with a notebook and a pen. I would listen intently to her and try write whatever she wrote on the board. Now looking back, seeing how much passion and enthusiasm she had when teaching is the very reason why she loves mentoring and encouraging the people around her.


If your mum were a character in a book, movie, or TV show, who would she be?

Ooooh, I'd love to think that she is my Hermoine from Harry Potter. Just like Hermoine, my mum is smart, fearless, beautiful and got a lot of tricks in her bag. I'm pretty sure she wants to expelliarmus all my problems away, but even though she can't take everything away, she is one of my patronus charms in my darkest moments (okay, that's as much Harry Potter stuff I know).




What is one thing your mother have done growing up that you didn't like? (@kceeeey)

When I was kid, all I wanted to do was play. I always wanted to play with my mum. I could remember rushing to the gate of the house as she leaves for work, or complains, "lagi nalang mag-work, mag-work" (closest translation: you always go to work), as she gets ready for work. To become a stay at home mom back in the Philippines is a luxury, so the hustle was real. But you know what, that very experience showed me what hard work looks like and have more appreciate of my mum now. 


Have your mum ever asked you, "when are you going to have a boyfriend?" (@janicagriarte)

Hahaha. I don't think so. I think my mum was more like, "you like another guy again?"  or "who's the guy you're texting?" Although now, I've become more and more comfortable in letting my mom into my relationship, seeking her female advice and perspective on certain things. And I like that. 


What type of guy does your mum want you to get married to? (@chingamy)

Throughout the years, one of the main things that stood out was to find a guy who could tame me or keep me on track. Usually, I'm really strong willed (not saying the stubborn as my mom mentioned in her interview) and set in my ways. Once I've decided, it takes awhile for me to adapt on a new perspective or way of doing things. So, I think my mum would want me to marry a guy who could shake off my negative thoughts, push me to greater things and empower me to become better.


What is a quality of your mum that you admire the most? (@ayana_em)

My mum's adaptability. I've seen a lot of it when we moved here to New Zealand. She took on the challenge and stood up to the plate. Even though it was a big transition for us, my mother's (and my dad's) ability to adapt to circumstances and respond with gratitude was something that my brother and I held on to.




What are the top three pieces of advice you've received from your mum?

1. Be fearless. When I have dreams and desires in my heart, my mother always reassures me that there is more in me than the box that I have placed myself in. She encourages me to step out of my comfort zone and to grow. Whether its a big or small dream, she empowers me to be fearless and just believe.

2. Never stop discovering who you are and always love yourself. My parents always encouraged me to know more about myself and invest more on my dreams. To experience life in all its fullness by travelling, reading more books, spend time with the people you love, always choose faith over fear in everything I do, learning to be confident with myself and immerse in my passions. 

3. To love and accept people unconditionally. While I continue to walk in this journey, I am constantly reminded by my mum to do this through her actions.


What was your relationship with your mum growing up, and how is it now?

Growing up, I saw my mum as just a mother who provides, teaches me math, and hug me when I got a boo boo, but since moving here in New Zealand, my relationship with my mum has deepened. Now, she is more than just a provider. She is my mentor, confidant, inspiration, truth bomber, reality checker, shopping accomplice and all-around mother. She still is my superwoman and Hermoine all in one, and I love everything about her. I couldn't ask for a better mum. I am proud of everything she was, is and going to be. 


But seriously though, how often do we see our mothers in this light? As much as we seek appreciation for everything we do, our mothers deserve a million times more with all the things that they do for us. What we appreciate appreciates.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I hope that you celebrate your mum, your single dad who acts as both, your big sister who is holding you down when mum is not around, or your spiritual mother. They all deserve a day spent enjoying and relaxing without the presence of a to-do list.

And from all of us here at HER,

Happy Mother's Day!

ps. I hope you have bought and/or planned a special treat for her.

pps. If not, you still got the whole of Saturday to.