When It Feels Like All Hope Is Gone
by Valerie cabadonga
From November last year, I decided to look for a new job whilst clinging to the possibility of having my fixed-term job turn into a permanent role at my previous workplace.
After a few months of looking around, a few interviews started rolling up on February. One interview after another, a rejection emailed followed a few days later, however, since I still had that hope of that permanent role, I wasn't too bothered. But, on the last week of March, a month before my contract ends, my manager and her manager sat me down and laid the not-so-good-slap-in-the-face news: "Sorry but we are not extending your contract..."
My heart sank and shattered, like Titanic. New reality check - I will be unemployed in a month if I don't get a job - pronto! - and no job offers were yet in sight. Well, that's not too good, is it? So now, I was in an overwhelming state of panic and worry because, although I have my family and their support, I was scared that if this situation gets any longer, I would be a burden, and I am that person who always makes sure that I will carry my weight around as much as I can - as heavy as I can. I was pushing myself so hard to attain something that clearly took time.
I ended up finding myself in a roller coaster of emotions which meant getting moody a lot and snapping at people even on the little things (sorry Chris - my boyfriend). Yes, I was applying for jobs but then I started to just be half-in on each application. I was being hopeful with such little expectation that I will hear good news from the employers. I was expecting rejection emails to flood into my inbox more than invitation for interviews. In all honesty, I was a little bit in a state of hopelessness.
A few weeks into that emotional state, on the Sunday night service of the Passionate Conference Weekend, God placed an anthem in my heart. An anthem that not only applies to my current situation, but one that I could carry in all areas of of my life and in my heart forever. An anthem that has filled my heart with peace, and assurance that all is well and all will be well.
You did it again.
I first met these words with relief, followed by a question: "Why 'did'? Like I don't have the job yet, so shouldn't it be 'do'?"
Ha, funny how we ask before we trust, right? Trying to correct God's grammar and all.
But the more I meditated on the words, the reason came clearer. It's 'did' for the very reason of who God is and how God orchestrates things.
And He made me realize.
It's 'did' because there has always been a place for us to land on and meant to conquer - not survive, but conquer. And that particular destination was destined for our growth and impact. Yes, there may be some detours and road blocks along the way, but eventually, we will always and eventually reach our designed-for-impact pit stops.
It's 'did' because the trajectory of our lives will always be upwards and towards our purpose.
It's 'did' because these words have the power to shut every lingering worry and doubt that has ruled over our hearts. In my experience, it has brought me peace that surpassed all understanding that gave room for more of what I needed - trust and hope.
It's 'did' because it is a declaration of what is, not what if.
It's 'did' because with just a few little steps of faith, we will find ourselves there - standing in our very own land of Milk and Honey.
It's 'did' because it doesn't matter what you are going through or what stage of life you are in, His promise still stands.
It's 'did' because it is done.
What I love more about this anthem is that it speaks to all times: the past, the present and the future. A four-worded anthem that praises God for His faithfulness in the past, an anthem of gratitude and faith in the present, and an anthem for better days ahead in the future. An anthem that proves: "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
Since then, I kept this anthem in my heart while applying for jobs, getting ready for an interview, during the interview, and while waiting for the outcome. I remained hopeful. I went all in - full of hope, full of expectation. The next thing you know, I received a job offer a week before my planned holiday in May. It was the most perfect timing. Now, that this anthem has been proved true to my life, I want to encourage you to hold the same or something similar in your life.
So if you're waiting and have been praying for a miracle to happen, declare this over your life:
You did it again.
For my recent graduates, almost graduating students or anyone looking for a job, declare this over your life:
You did it again.
Whatever that 'it' that you have been waiting on in life, just hold faith, declare an anthem over your life, and do your part. Let an anthem sing from the very core of your being and see how much it changes the tone of your life. It changed mine, and I truly believe it will change yours too!
"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is His Faithfulness.
His mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!"
(Lamentation 3: 22-24)